Colon Flow is an ‘all natural’ remedy which claims to be scientifically formulated to help sufferers of bloating, constipation and indigestion.
Partial transcript of the Colon Flow commercial:
Are you suffering from gas, bloating, indigestion, constipation that comes and goes? If you’re not having normal bowel movements every day you can suffer from a buildup of toxins that cause upset stomach, constipation, excess gas or intestinal discomfort. Plus you could be holding up to 4.5 pounds of fecal waste if you’re going to the bathroom only once per day, even more unwanted weight if you’re going less often. But now there’s Colon Flow. Non prescription Colon Flow is scientifically formulated with key ingredients to help restore normal bowel function and you’re eligible to try it free for 30 days. We’re looking for participants to receive a free 30 day trial so call immediately. All natural Colon Flow works gently with your body to eliminate toxic waste and maintain your regularity. Colon Flow is being released to the general public and your area has been selected to try it right now for free. Call immediately to find out how to receive your free 30 day trail. Call 1-800-710-0411
Key words and phrases in this TV commercial and what they really mean:
- What the TV commercial said: If you’re not having normal bowel movements every day you can suffer from a buildup of toxins that cause upset stomach, constipation, excess gas or intestinal discomfort. Plus you could be holding up to 4.5 pounds of fecal waste if you’re going to the bathroom only once per day, even more unwanted weight if you’re going less often.
- What some people might think that means: If I don’t go to the bathroom or have a bowel movement every day, I could weigh more. Up to 13.5 pounds more if I don’t go to the bathroom for 3 days. By using Colon Flow I can lose weight and lose my tummy-buldge
- What it really means: At this point in the TV commercial a graph is shown that indicates you could weigh up to 13.5 pounds more by not having a bowl movement every day. On previous Colon Flow commercials and on the Colon Flow website it is also stated that this can cause tummy bulge. According to the National Library of Medicine / National Institute of Health (ncbi.nlm.nih.gov), the average weight of an adult bowel movement is approximately 50g to 150g per day. Over a 3 day period (as shown on the graph in the Colon Flow TV commercial) this would be a maximum of bowel movement fecal weight (poopoo weight) of 450g. There are 453.5 grams in one pound, so by our math, someone not having a bowel movement for 3 days would be retaining approximately ONE POUND of fecal mater, which is roughly 13-times LESS than the 13.5 pounds indicated in the Colon Flow TV commercial. The Colon Flow commercial gives no other information and cites no medical studies or data that indicate how they arrived at these fecal weight numbers. Without any data indicating otherwise, many people may consider these statements as utter deception, mistruth, or lies.
- What the Colon Flow commercial said: you can suffer from a buildup of toxins
- What some people might think that means: If I don’t have a bowl movement or go to the bathroom every day, toxins can make me sick
- What it really means: The Colon Flow commercial cites no medical studies or to back up this claim. While it is true that not having a bowel movement for several days may be uncomfortable and is, by definition, constipation, we can find no studies indicating that the average healthy person will suffer any other ill effects from occasional irregularity.
- What the Colon Flow commercial said: Colon Flow is scientifically formulated with key ingredients to help restore normal bowel function
- What some people might think that means: Colon Flow must work because it has key ingredients and is formulated by scientists
- What it really means: The statement that something is “scientifically formulated” or has “key ingredients” simply means that when making Colon Flow, this is what they wanted it to do. This statement without any scientific studies or data to indicate that Colon Flow works, does not mean that it works or does what it claims to do. The Colon Flow website also has a disclaimer that none of the statements have been evaluated by the FDA.
- What the Colon Flow commercial says: We’re looking for participants… Colon Flow is being released to the general public and your area has been selected to try it
- What some people might think that means: I can be part of a clinical trial / this new breakthrough product is finally available to the public in certain areas only
- What it really means: Colon Flow is available to anyone, anywhere, any time. Anyone calling or visiting the Colon Flow website can purchase Colon Flow or take part in their “Free 30 day trial” (see below).
- What the Colon Flow commercial said: you’re eligible to try it free for 30 days. We’re looking for participants to receive a free 30 day trial … your area has been selected to try it right now for free. Call immediately to find out how to receive your free 30 day trail
- What some people might think that means: I can get 30 days worth of Colon Flow without paying any money
- What it really means: According to the Colon Flow website, these are the terms of the ‘free’ trial:
Enjoy our 30-Day Trial by receiving 2 bottles of Colon Flow. You will be enrolled in The Colon Flow Trial Offer Program that means you will receive the special 60 Day supply to try for 30 days. You will initially be charged a small shipping and handling fee of only $9.95 today. If you like the results you’re seeing and we know you will, simply do nothing and in 30 days you’ll be automatically billed the members-only discounted price of $39.99 per bottle. To ensure you do not run out of Colon Flow, you’ll receive a 60 day supply every other month starting in 60 days, and your credit card will be automatically billed at a discounted price of $29.99 per bottle every 60 days plus shipping and handling for each new shipment.
Your “free” trial will cost $9.95 after 30 days, if you do nothing, you will be billed $79.98 more for your two free bottles of Colon Flow. After that, your free Colon Flow will cost $59.98 every 2 months, plus an unspecified additional cost for shipping and handling.
If, before 30 days, you wish to cancel and not be billed any more money for your free trial of Colon Flow, according to the Colon Flow website, you must do the following:
If you are unsatisfied with Colon Flow for any reason, simply cancel your order by contacting our Customer Care department at 1-888-237-7172 (Mon-Fri, 8:00am to 5:00pm EST) or email us at email@example.com within 30 days of date of your order. Upon contacting Company and cancelling your order, you will be provided with a Return Merchandise Authorization (“RMA”) number. After canceling your order, you will have 7 days to return the unused portion of the Product, or if it is empty, just return the empty bottle(s) to our Company. You must write the RMA number on the return packaging in order to avoid being billed for the Product. Company will not refund or credit any shipping and handling charges for any Product that was shipped to you.
You must ship the remaining Colon Flow or the empty bottle back, at your own expense. If you fail to return your unused Colon Flow or the empty Colon Flow bottle exactly as described with the RMA number and within 7 days your credit card will be automatically billed as described above. You will not be refunded for any shipping or handling fees.
The Colon Flow commercial makes several medical’ee claims, with no supporting data and the claim of excess fecal matter making you weigh up to 13.5 pounds more may be considered by many as outright lies. The free trial will cost you at least $20 and if you do not follow their return instructions exactly (which are not mentioned in the TV commercial) you will be automatically billed hundreds of dollars per year.